good start . . .

. . . to a GREAT day:)

I am at work and am calling clients to schedule appointments - fun right? There are times in your life where you feel put together and professional - today is that day for me, or shall I say it was. So, I'm making calls in my friendly, normal, and, I guess, my trying to hard to be professional voice because this is one of the first questions posed to me,
"Oh, wow - it sounds like you have a runny or really stuffy nose?"
humm, well, no. Lets think on how that can be answered . . . sorry, no, just my normal voice.
"Oh" followed by awkward silence . . .


Ahhhh - - - gotta love it:) Who knew that's what my voice sounds like - - - bigger question . . . Why in the world has not one of my friends and family ever told me?!? Do I walk around this world talking with a stuffy nose?

Who knew . . .

. . . that March 19th, the day that finally legalized gambling in Nevada in 1931 - would, years later, also give us . . .

Gabriel!!!!

Happy Birthday big brother!  I love you so much and am so grateful to you!  These past two years have been so great sharing school with you - I couldn't have made it without you - -  Only a few more months left!  Love you!

Proud, Prouder and Proudest!

So . . . . pride is often looked upon as a way to catch a first class ticket to the land down under (not Australia:), but I think that I can get away with being proud of . . .

 . . . my baby brother Mario and his amazingly creative and wonderful poetry that is featured in-

"Time You Let Me In: 25 poets under 25" selected by Naomi Shihab Nye!  I am so happy and excited that the world will get to read a part of Mario's poetry, which I have loved and admired for ages.  Naomi Shihab Nye is a well known and liked contemporary poet.  She has collected 25 aspiring poets who she thinks have promise for the rising generation!  How cool is it that Mario is one of those!  Congrats Mario!  I love you and I love your work!  

Go and get yourself a copy today on Amazon or Borders or Barnes and Noble - you will not be disappointed! 

Is it really that day AGAIN?

Every year I cannot wait until February to celebrate one of the greatest days ever . . . . . . PRESIDENT"S DAY!!  And you all thought I was going to say Valentine's Day - silly folks!  What can be greater than recognizing all the many president's that have made our country what it is - 

First . . . .

Old Kinderhook himself . . . . Martin Van Buren!  How can you not appreciate the man that gave us the saying - O.K.!!

Next, we have - Demacratic "doughface" - - -  Franklin Pierce!  I live on Pierce, what more needs to be said!

And last but definetly not least - - - - - -

Chester A. Arthur - the first President to have his citizenship challenged, the 'ol canadian!  He also didn't like pets - a man after my own heart!

Ahhh, President's Day.  How can you come so fast and not last longer!!!  

PS - - Samuel was my Valentine today!  There isn't a sweeter kid - when he left and was going out the door, already having said goodbye and given me a kiss, he called out, "See ya Valentine!!!"

Wuf.

Every once in a while I catch myself while speaking and realize how silly I sound.  Since before I can remember I have always had trouble saying the word "wolf" or "wolves", it comes out much more like "wuf" and wufs".  Haha - I laugh even thinking about it.  The other day I was participating in a conversation at school about a story that had wolves in it and I think this is what I actually said . . . . "No, you're not grasping the validity of the point I am making - it has nothing to do with the WUFS . . . "  I then felt about four years old and I think I awkwardly tried to mumble the rest of my point - haha, it was a great moment.  Instead of feeling shame in my non-wolf saying abilities I am now owning it!  Yes, I say wuf or wufs and no I cannot change - - - - -I have tried!!

We Wear the Mask

This past week in class we read a poem that has stuck with me and maybe more than that, haunted me.  It was written in a different age for a different purpose, but for me, in this moment, it is for me -

We Wear the Mask

We wear the mask that grins and lies,

It hides our cheeks and shades our eyes, -

This debt we pay to human guile;

With torn and bleeding hearts we smile,

And mouth with myriad subleties.

Why should the world be overwise,

In counting all our tears and sighs?

Nay, let them only see us, while

We wear the mask.

We smile, but, O great Christ, our cries

To thee from tortured souls arise.

We sing, but oh the clay is vile

Beneath our feet, and long the mile;

But let the world dream otherwise,

We wear the mask!

Paul Laurence Dunbar

My mask is wearing thin and I am weary.  Not only of mine but of those I see all around.

el año pasado y el año que viene . . .

It has been a great few weeks.  I went to Indiana to visit Mario and Wendy the first part of December.  I was able to stay two weeks and had the hardest time leaving them, especially little Ethan.  While we were there we went up to Chicago for two days and it was the greatest.  I am going to live there some day.  I loved it.

I love this shot.  It's at the top of the John Hancock building.I didn't even know Mario was taking a picture, it has a melancholy feeling but interesting at the same time.

View from the top - the John Hancock top.

Mario and I showing off our skating skills - I bet you all are so impressed:)

Me and the Bean

The famous Chicago sign and me:)

Ethan and I working on our gingerbread houses

Wendy and her hot blond hair working on the GBH

on the morning that Ethan opened the Christmas presents from Utah and me getting to read Thomas to this cute kid

This boy rocks!!  Here he is trying on new clothes from Chard's #2 but keeping on his trademark socks - he wears either green or orange but that day he wanted one of each - so cool!

E. and his trains!!!  He was obsessed with trains and Thomas - he knew all the character names and could play for hours.  I miss this little one!

My last Sunday there - our Christmas picture:)

E. playing in the snow! - they didn't have very much and his playing consisted of walking around but man he is cute

This shot is especially for Papa - he was coming home to Utah with me!

It was such a great trip and then I got to come home to a very relaxing Christmas and New Years.  Tomorrow the real world starts again - work, school, life.  I'm not sure I'm prepared for it but I guess it's time to move forward and see what this new year can bring.

Chicago . . . .

Breathtaking . . . more to come.

Kreativ Blogger

My sister Wendy has nominated me for a Kreativ Blogger award. She's the creative one so I'm not so sure what she's talking about:) but I thank her anyway.
Here are the rules -
1) Copy the pretty picture and post it on your blog.
2) Thank the person that gave it to you and link to their blog.
3) Write 7 things about yourself we don't know.

- I'm a people watcher - not in the creepy peeping Tom way - but in the - I like to observe others and notice human behavior - way. When I was young and my family went shopping at the mall, my dad and I would spend our time on a bench just watching people as they passed. We would make up stories about their lives - sometimes trying to be right and sometimes just coming up with a story. I still like to do that.

- I love mixing foods together, but if they are on the same plate - I don't like the food to touch (yeah I know that doesn't make sense) - I love eating grapes and strawberries together, mashed potatoes and corn and apples and string cheese. Speaking of food - I HATE yogurt and pudding and anything that has a creamy texture to it.

- When I was at my semester in Nauvoo I tried to learn how to play the violin - I rocked Twinkle, Twinkle, Little Star - but honestly was just reminded that I have no musical abilities . . . besides my amazingly fantastic singing voice that is (as Marcos often tells me).

- Michael McClean once pushed me to get to someone and I, to this very day, have a vendetta against him!

- When I was 10, my older cousin Emily once tricked me into believing that she was 27 (she was probably 14 or 15). I don't know why but I was so awestruck by that age and wished I could be 27 and cool like her. It's odd to me to actually be 27.

- I think that in a previous life I must have been a detective - - - I love, love, love crime shows - I can't get enough! I can usually figure out the plot and deduce the ending - it must be all the Ghostwriter I watched as a kid!

- I have a severe hatred for some movies from my youth - Labyrinth, Beetle Juice, Never ending story, ET, anything Charlie Brown (don't get me started on the teacher) . I can't handle them!!!!

There you have it folks, now for the rest of the rules -
4) Choose 7 other bloggers to pass the award to.
5) Link to those 7 other bloggers.
6) Notify your 7 bloggers.

1 - Michelle - it's private but I want to hear some good stuff from you:)
2 - Ariel and Dave - you rock and I can't wait to hear what you got! (7 individual things from each of you, of course!)
3 - Abby - another private blog but oh dearest cousin -I know you got some good ones!
4 - Rose - you are wonderful!
5 - Emily - my dear cousin who is above mentioned - come through for me friend and no worries - I got those recipes coming:)
6 - Talecia - let's hear it, my friend!
7 - Rahndi - I love and miss you.

Happy Birthday to my favorite Veteran . . .

Dad - 

I love you.  I hope you had a wonderful birthday and wish you more than the best!  On the day that we honor those, like you, who have served our country I wanted you to know that I appreciate who you are.  You served our country and I am grateful but more than that, you have served our family.  For that fact, there is nothing I could do to ever repay you.  Here is a my first poem that I have written and it's dedicated to you - 

Once recalled

As darkness sets in

I often see

hard benches,

clasped hands with twirling thumbs.

I hook my arm in his

and it is dwarfed.

Remember, say the whispers,

where faith began for you.

The twirling thumbs

move forward then back,

forward then back,

forward then back;

with each twirl

a faith renewed.

A New P-freakin-ost!

Hi y-freakin-'all!

Just thought I'd mention a little thought I've been having - - - - I've been hearing a lot of this around me - "That store is Ri-freakin-diculos!!" "That applesauce was De-freakin-licious"!! - Got to love it right!! I was thinking how fun it would be to talk just like that and only like that - -for example . . . when I answer the phone at work I can say, "He-freakin-llo St-freakin-ate Fa-freakin-rm In-freaking-surance this is M-freakin-ia, how can I he-freakin-lp you?!"

or . . .
just try to find the best words it would work with - - - -

apenda-freakin-cytis

ti-freakin-erd

Alama-freakin-gordo, Tehas

Now you try - -let's see what you g-freakin-ot!

The one thing you should NEVER do with a pita . . .

Burn your place of employment down.  Especially when that place of employment happens to be an insurance agency . . .

Ahh yes, my friends, the pita exacts its revenge.  For those of you who are regular readers of my oh so interesting life tales on this blog, you will know that besides run-on sentences you can find a series of rants.  A few rants back I so happened to talk about the ridiculous uses that pita makers were saying you could do with their product – said pitas must have taken offence, for this story I am about to tell is an offensive strike in a war I never knew I was fighting– until now (or it could just be a tale of my stupidity and awkwardness - you decide).

            I arrived at work early but without morning nutrients.  I had been running late and consequently didn’t have the time for the most needed meal of the day (according to most nutritionist and the CNN health page).  The fridge only contained water, pop, and in the far back right corner . . . my last little pita.  I threw it into the toaster oven (a new contraption to Chard kids) and made my way up front to open things up.  I decided to make a quick call to a Windshield repair place.  Five minutes later, not a care in the world, I was on hold listening to an elevator music type no- words medley of “Hit me Baby One more time” and “Bye, Bye, Bye” when a distant ping brought me back to reality.  A reality that told me I had better get to the break room.  I dropped the phone just as a neighbor was coming in the door and ran to the back.  The pita was black as could be.  I flipped the door down and used my fingernails to scrape it onto the counter – to my surprise it burst into flames!  Not tiny little match flames but a foot or higher flames that were spreading as I stood there in a panic.  Even though on the same counter, as the now fire encompassed pita, was a sink, that wasn’t my first thought.  It went more like this - - - oh crap, ummm paper towel – no that would be stupid – I’m totally getting fired – ahhh – okay not a grease fire so water, right? Yeah water - - - I reached over flipped on the water and started cupping out water with my hands and hitting the pita – smoke went everywhere!  Dennis, the neighbor that had come in was looking for my boss who was (luckily for me) out of town, had followed me back to the break room and was proceeding to tell me that I must have burned something.  He was right about that as I opened the back door praying the smoke alarms would not go off – that would top things off.

            I walked him out to the front as he jokingly asked me if I wanted him to leave the door open - umm yeah thanks.  Still with my heart beating a mile a minute I sat at my desk, only to hear, “Mia . . Mia  . . .Mia” – oh yeah, I forgot I was on the phone . .

Pita – you may have won this battle but the WAR IS ON - - - - -

A grief observed . . .

     I had many interesting experiences this past weekend.  One of those happened early Sunday morning and it has left me contemplating.  I drove to my parent's so that we could all enjoy conference together.  I winded my way through the canyon enjoying the rain as it pounded down around me, not really thinking about much.  I felt peace and a sense of renewal.  My mind wandered to planning out what my day would be - we would enjoy breakfast, listen to conference, play with Samuel and Mason - - - and then I was slammed by the thought, "If the rain clears up maybe I can walk the boys over and we can say hi to Norma."  I had forgotten.  

     It has been almost a year since Norma passed away on a clear and crisp October morning.  I haven't been able to talk about her or write about her.  Even now, as I type these words, my eyes fill with tears and emotions seem too close to the surface.  Norma meant many things to those who knew her but I have always felt that we shared something special.  She lived next door for most of my childhood and most everything that we did included her - dinners, holidays, birthdays.  Birthdays were something special.  Every year for as long as I can remember she and I would pick a day that was to be mine.  We went shopping for clothes, saw a movie and went out to eat.  It seemed that she would spare no expense and I loved our time together.  She was loving and kind but could also get after us kids if need be.  Even in those moments of discipline, the perceived harshness came out of the great love that she had for us.

     Time changes things and as I grew older our relationship changed.  Norma got sick.  It was a scary time in her life and more than anything it was sad to watch her lose the independencethat had always been so fiercely hers.  For all the care that she had always shown our family it was now our turn.  I had just graduated high school and was only taking two classes that fall semester.  I hadn't found a job and frankly, felt lost.  I had the time and so I had the opportunity to take Norma to all the places she needed to go.  We went to multiple doctor's appointments every week, grocery shopping and sometimes to lunch if she just wanted to get out of the house.  She told me of her life and the wonderful places she had seen, she comforted me when I would share of my fears or heartaches, we talked about the gospel and she expressed a desire to be close to God again.  Those were cherished times.  I had become an adult in her eyes - more than her niece, we were friends.

     All of these thoughts and many more came rushing to my mind as I realized once again that she was gone.  It's interesting how these moments can overtake us and once again it is fresh and real.  I read A Grief Observed by C.S. Lewis many years ago and I remember something that particularly struck me, he said, "No one ever told me that grief felt so like fear."  I agree with that.  Last year it felt so much like fear that I ran from it and in many ways have continued running.  I stopped on Sunday.  I have let myself think about her and the good and the bad that we shared.  I am so grateful for her and the huge role that she played in my life.  Youth brings foolishness and I am ashamed to say that there were times when I would say that I was afraid that because my parents named me after her that my life would parallel hers in the fact that I would go through life without marrying.  What a fool.  I am filled with guilt and sorrow about that thought and attitude for I know that Norma was so much more than just one life experience.  I only now wish to do as much as Norma did for others and hopefully I can live up to the name that I am blessed to share.  I have much work to do if I hope to be as she was.  I have hope that she will forgive me of my foolishness and that we will one day have the chance to be together again.  I love you Norma.  

   

Do you need a laugh?

I have never needed a laugh more than I did yesterday and these two sites never fail!

www.itemnotasdescribed.com

www.awkwardfamilyphotos.com

tell me what you think . . .

Frankly.

I have found myself in need of a catharsis. Lately, for some reason, I have been overflowing with frustration and annoyance that comes up at the most inopportune times. I see every car on the road as an enemy sent to confound my plans of getting to where I need to be quickly - every person at any gas station or grocery store jumps into my line before me just to make things interesting - all of my professors tend to drone on and on just as a way to "stick it" to me. In reality, I know that no one on the roads care about me or are sent as an attack plan, the lines at various stores are not a conspiracy to get me down and my teachers are actually doing what I pay tuition to get - instruction. All of that aside, I need to get my frustration out in some way and if I offend, well, sorry about that.
"Life is not measured by the moments we take,
but by the moments that take our breath away."
This is false! I have had a vendetta against this phrase from the moment I laid eyes upon it. Yes, I know, it's meant to be a cutesy play on words and to describe those amazing moments that life throws our way but honestly how many times has life sincerely taken your breath away? If that is what measured life or kept me alive . . . I would be dead. When I moved into Michelle's house this phrase had been left in vinyl lettering on the wall and I never took it down. It has sat there on it's high horse, next to the ceiling, taunting every move I make. Today I decide to take my freedom back! Let the catharsis begin! I say to this sign as I strip it from my wall, "you are FALSE sign! Life IS measured by the breaths I take! It is NOT measured by the moments that take my breath away!"

Ahhhhh - feel better all ready.