"Time and Tide wait for no man, but time always stands still for a woman of thirty." Robert Frost

"All children mythologize their birth. It is a universal trait. You want to know someone? Heart, mind and soul? Ask him to tell you about when he was born. What you get won't be the truth; it will be a story. And nothing is more telling than a story."

The Thirteenth Tale

     My story began thirty years ago tomorrow. My mother and her mother were picking beans in our neighbors garden, sitting on a bucket in the morning sun, hoping that sometime soon I would finally choose to make an appearance in this world. I was two weeks over my due date and my mother was tired; how she found the energy to pick beans on a hot August morning is beyond me. 

     

     My father had taken almost all the two weeks off work and postponed many important business meetings to be home, "just in case", but he could wait no longer. That morning he had kissed my mother goodbye apologizing for not being able to continue in the waiting game at home and left explicit instructions to call if anything was to happen. My grandmother suggested that it would be good for my mom to do something other than sit and wait, and my mother agreed (she has never been one to sit and wait for anything:). I often wonder what that morning was like in the bean patch across the street - was the conversation about me or was it chitchat? Maybe there wasn't conversation at all,  but the content kind of silence that only comes from trust, love and time. 

     

     Whatever was happening that morning was trumped around 10am when my mother realized I was coming. The contractions came fast and that meant that I was close to follow.  True to my nature since birth, I was on my way and once I had decided it was time there was no turning back. The called my father and he couldn't be reached so they called the nurse. After explaining to the nurse how fast the contractions were coming they were given instructions to go to the hospital immediately. My mother could never imagine going to the hospital, after being in the garden, without a shower; so, true to her nature since birth . . . she took her time and cleaned up before calling my grandfather for a ride to the hospital. 

     

     I love the idea that my grandparents were involved and around at the time of my birth; both maternal and paternal sides of the family were anxiously awaiting another member of their posterity. I think that talks to the importance of family and roots, honoring where we come from and being aware of those who are to come. 

     

     All the rest of the story is kind of a blur for me and this is a reminder that I need to hear the tale again from those who know it best. What I do know is that I was born that day, August 9, 1982 and given the name of Mia - "mine" in Spanish. I was always to remember that I belonged, that I was someone's and maybe somewhere down deep they hoped I would turn to that knowledge when it mattered the most . . .

Is there anything better than the Ocean? No, right? I feel the best about life after having the chance to sit by the water and take it all in - the sounds, sights and smells. I am grateful tonight for the beauty of the ocean and just thought I'd share . . . I love this quote from Lord Byron,

"Roll on, deep and dark blue ocean, roll. Ten thousand fleets sweep over thee in vain. Man marks the earth with ruin, but his control stops with the shore."

Goodnight, my friends.

I miss . . .

THE SNOW!! I am sorry to all you summer lovers out there but really - - - you can always get warm, I hate the heat!!! Plus . . . look how fun sledding is, I need to move to Alaksa - 

Do unto . . . Who?

I had an experience tonight that I want to share. I do so only in the hopes to perpetuate the idea that love and kindness can make an impact in the world. There seems to be so much ridicule in our day and age, to be mean to others can often be seen as witty or a form of entertainment. Why do we seek to make ourselves feel better by hurting another? I don’t know how we got there but I do know the power is in each of us to change that pattern, to make the lives of those we come in contact with brighter and better because we choose kindness not hated.

I went for a walk tonight. Getting healthy and losing weight has been a battle I have waged since high school. I am sensitive about this battle and often I am my worst enemy. When I am home in Morgan I love to walk on Old Highway Road; there are just enough hills to make it interesting and the view is amazing. My one fear has always been the many cars that pass that way. My fear is not of getting hit by a car but being judged by the people in it. I grew up experiencing much unkindness about my being overweight. I became hyper sensitive to those around me and believed that if one person disliked me for that then all people did. I remember the first time I decided to walk that particular road and the courage it took to not turn around, to keep going forward.

I felt that need for courage tonight as, midway through my walk, a car of young boys drove by and slowed down. They laughed and pointed and made fun of me for being overweight. They thought themselves clever and sped off laughing and celebrating their ability to point out the perceived fault of another. I felt embarrassed and thought back to all the times in my life that I allowed those similar acts of unkindness to define who I was. For a moment I wanted to turn around, to give up and stop something I loved for fear that more of the same unkindness must surely be around the corner.

Luckily those thoughts only lasted for a moment. Soon I was thinking about how hard I had worked to get where I was and how much more work there was left to do. I thought about how foolish it would be to let the words and actions of others I didn’t even know stop my course. I also thought of all the great people who have shown me kindness and encouraged me in all stages of my life. I thought about a man from my parent’s ward, Jerry Stout, who always seems to drive by when I am walking – he waves and honks and gives me a thumbs up and it keeps me going. I thought about great teachers, leaders and friends who choose to look past my weaknesses and see the best in me and what I can become. I thought about the truthfulness in this quote from Elder Joseph B. Wirthlin:

“Kindness is the essence of greatness and the fundamental characteristic of the noblest men and women I have known. Kindness is a passport that opens doors and fashions friends. It softens hearts and molds relationships that can last lifetimes.”

The world needs greatness in the form of kindness more than almost anything else. Think of the lives that could be blessed and the changes that would come if we were all a little nicer to each other. I think of the poor kids who commit suicide because of bullying; I think of the acts of racial prejudice that divide communities and countries because differences are focused on instead of what is shared; I think of the emotional and mental scars that children carry into adulthood because of constant negativity from parents or friends. It is often thought and said that one person cannot make a difference, the ripple effect of one small stone in a pond as big as the world would be miniscule so don’t even try - but that thought, my friends, is a lie; don’t believe it, don’t teach your children it and don’t let it be spread and shared around you without standing up to it.

So, tonight or tomorrow or a week from now, if there is the choice between being unkind and breaking someone down or building another up and showing kindness – choose kindness. See the good in others and yourself and I promise change can come. I have seen it in my life and through the lives of others – one person makes a difference, one person saves lives. I challenge myself as much as others. If there is someone who has experiences unkindness at my hand, please accept my deepest apologies and know that I will try the rest of my life to make it up to you by choosing kindness.

Do something good for another; you will never know what can come of it . . .

doscientos - mazana awiri - tweehonderd - kaksisataa

It is only fitting that blog post two hundred happens to be a Mother's Day shout out to the greatest person I know . . .

my crazy best friend - always up for a laugh

my travel companion - making everything more fun and worthwhile

my mother - I love you, I am the lucky one.

Moments.

Tonight I saw a moment and didn't let it pass me by. I was in the process of cleaning up and getting ready for tomorrow. It had been a dreary and gray day, weather wise that is. I stepped out onto my porch and walked to throw away the trash, so wrapped up in my thoughts that I didn't see the beautiful sunset that was stretching across the sky. Just as I was to re-enter my home I turned around and was stopped. It was that brilliant orange, red and pink that contrasted with the blue of the sky and the white of the clouds, the kind of moment when one knows this world was created by a loving God. I thought of how pretty it would be at the Capital, the light hitting the pathway lined with cherry blossoms. Could I make it? Usually I say No - not wanting to take the effort and believing that I wouldn't be able to make it in time. Tonight, however, I said Yes. I raced back inside, grabbed my keys and camera, and was out the door.

What was different about tonight? I believe it has to do with the last few weeks and various impressions I have received through experiences, good and bad alike. Our little town of Peterson said goodbye to a dear lady and friend, Sherrie Wright. There has been much said and many memories shared. I too have memories that I will cherish but more than that I realized I have lessons that I have learned through her example. One of those lessons is living in moments and not waiting for grand times to find joy. Each time that I spoke with Sherrie I could tell that she was invested in the moment that we were sharing - not looking for the next thing to say or wondering where else she could be. We have a similar sense of humor, she and I, so most of the moments we spent together were filled with laughter, looking for joy in even the most absurd or trying of experiences. For that, I will be forever grateful.

Another impression received came from the joy I felt as I spent time with people that I love and who always have the ability to make me want to be a little better. In spending time with them I came to the realization that it truly is the small but consistent practices that lead us to become our best selves. Goodness comes in holding on, moving forward and choosing to have a good attitude. Often I have found myself not trying something or stretching because the chance for perfection was passed. Sure, tonight the most brilliant moment of the sunset was passing as I stood on the porch but that didn't mean I couldn't partake in a perfectly wonderful, great or even good moment; and for me, living in tonight's moment was all three of those.

C.A.L.I.F.O.R.N.I.A.

(are periods in between letters still cool? . . . They never were? . . . Oh )

So . . .I had never been to Northern California (that I can remember, at least). I have however, met people and have had friends from the Golden State who swear that there is no where better on the planet than California. For that reason, I was not going to love it - I could like it, but that's it.
Goodness, I hate when I'm wrong. Northern California was beautiful and I did in fact, love it! I do have to say, though, it might have been because of the company:)

Nevertheless, here is my grand adventure:

This is actually the aerial of me leaving but I mostly put it here because far in the distance, if you look close, you can see the Golden Gate Bridge - that's right Mario, I was right:)

The first day there we went into Campbell and then over to Stanford. Here is Ethan hanging out in their garage before we headed out -




and here you have the cutest Xander that has ever lived - I loved getting to know this boy better:)

They took me to a fun and crazy candy shop - so cool, I wanted to bring home all the signs

Then we headed to Stanford - ummm, if you have never been here - - - go. It was one of the most beautiful campuses I have ever seen. Mario - I am jealous!

Here is the beautiful church that Leland Stanford's wife had built in his honor - interesting tidbit - it is where the family of Steve Jobs had his funeral

Here is a view from the bell tower - so amazing!

Here I am trying to get an artistic shot, how am I doing?

Ethan and his daredevil ways - Wendy was not liking his brush with adventure, neither was I, I hate heights.

Here is the view inside of the church. There are amazing stain glass windows all around. Interesting story behind the light you see shining through. The first window depicts the Angel Gabriel coming to Mary to announce that she would be the mother of the Savior, the second window shows the birth of the Savior and the last, shows a depiction of Christ's resurrection. I don't believe that it is a coincidence that the light shines brightest through the window showing the resurrection.

Here is my little hippie hanging out - he was super intense about doing cool poses:)

I LOVE that smile!

The next day we got to go and see San Francisco - I loved the Golden Gate Bridge - amazing!

We lucked out on the weather - fog, what fog? The whole trip was beautiful.

Me, Mars and little E. (who wanted to be part of every picture) - I am super California in these pics with the sunglasses - Most times I hate sunglasses, but hey, "When in Rome . . ."

The cool Chard family - I love that you can see the city and the bridge:)

We decided to walk across the bridge and it was awesome, loud but awesome. I was in awe:)

View of the city from the bridge -

Mario and his pensive look into the distance - we did it the whole trip and it is kind of an inside joke in the Chard family, 5 bucks to the first person to explain it:)

The lovebirds - - - -

and the one lookin' for love:) - maybe I should move to San Fran to find it:)

After our jaunt on the bridge we head to Sausalito - someone was diggin' the ice cream

Really? People get to live here? It doesn't hurt to be rich, however, everything is soooo expensive!

Before we headed to the beach we went to the touristy lookout place - so worth it. I wont trouble you with the ten shots I took trying to get a self portrait of me and the bridge. Mario and Wendy could only drop me off and make a loop with the car and so I was left to do the self portrait thing. I was struggling to get me and the bridge in the pic and not one stranger offered to put me out of my misery and take the picture - I even offered to take a picture for these two girls also doing the "myspace" thing hoping they would reciprocate - - - no such luck. Lesson learned: always offer to take someone's picture when they are alone,they are obviously in need of the help.

The view to the other side - - - I love the ocean, seriously, let me live right at the top of that tree!

Then we hit the beach - Ethan and I went crazy!

No words - - - -

Check out the California hair I had going, awesome right? Since being home I have tried to pull it off - nope, it was just a moment in time:)

One of the only pics of the group - Ethan was hilarious, this was after he had fallen head first into the ocean and was rolling around in the sand. In this exact moment he was covering his father in sand - I love the pure joy on his face, haha.

Love this picture and that perfect little boy I'm holding - it was such a great day!

There is nothin' cuter in all of California!

There you have it - can I go back now and live on the beach? I promise to always look pensively into the distance - - - - -

Now, don't you wish you grew up in a small town?

Monday night was special, for the town of Peterson that is. If you're not from Peterson you probably went about your Monday night, business as usual. But for those who have been blessed by the service of the Hind's family it wasn't business as usual, it was so much more. Cars lined both sides of the street and every available spec of pavement in the small parking lot was taken. People had come to say thank you.

My dad called me at work the Friday before. We talked and laughed and at some point he asked if I had heard the news. I told him he'd have to be a little more specific and he mentioned that the Hind's family had sold the store and that he had met the new owner that morning. Well, neither he nor I was prepared for the emotion that I experienced at hearing the news: I began to cry – then laugh, then cry some more. We both laughed at the fact that I was crying and all those around me at work wondered what possibly could have happened. It was humorous to consider telling them that I was crying because the corner store from my hometown had traded owners – they would think I was insane, and in fact, most of them did. That didn't matter to me however, because Hind's Quick Stop is more than your normal gas station.

For twenty-seven years the Hind's family had opened their doors - to locals and traveler alike – but more importantly they had opened their hearts. It wasn't just a place to fill your car with gas, get soda and candy or even just for that last minute grocery item that you had forgotten to purchase and that dinner couldn't do without; It was the first place that you ever got to go to on your own to purchase penny candies when they really were only a penny, it was the summer hang out where you met friends for ice cream and a hot dog, it was where your ten year old self learned to pump gas into a can and before going home to finish mowing the lawn telling Debbie or Sandra to charge it because your dad would pay it later, it was the place where on any given day you could walk into the shop and find five or six men from the community sittin' around talking about the good 'ol days and staying until closing time.

You could always find a listening ear and someone who cared about you in anyone from the Hinds family. We weren't just their customers; we were their friends and neighbors. That is what made Monday night all the more special. The Hinds family finally got to see the impact that they made on the lives of so many. Tears and smiles flowed, as the usual ring of the door became all the more incessant. It was wall-to-wall people and moving through was slow and cramped but no one seemed to mind. There was a sense of love and community that was palpable. Gratitude and a little awe is what I noticed in the eyes of those I passed that night. Gratitude for the love and service the Hinds family had always shared and awe in the fact that the love so freely given was individually felt by so many. Somehow I had always felt uniquely valued by the Hinds family but Monday I realized that so did most everyone else.

Hinds Quick Stop has always been the heart of Peterson and it will continue to be but at least for me, without all of the Hinds family, it won't be as bright.

Tour time - blink and you might miss it:)

Last year was hard, for many people, including me. I am grateful for the fresh start that January brings. I should look at everyday as a fresh start but for some reason I seem to be in the attitude of holding off – in a few months I will start working out, in a few months I will read the scriptures more, next week I'll stop watching mindless TV . . . If I'm not careful I will look back at my life and realize I've missed too many moments. In the end, isn't that all that matters – letting moments happen and enjoying them without wishing for the future or bemoaning the past.

So – for my first post of the grand 2012, I am showing you my pad – my home – the first place that is really all mine; no roommates, no family – I am facing life in Salt Lake by conquering the myth that being alone makes one lonely. That is not to say that I might not experience loneliness but to be honest, some of the loneliest times in my life have happened being surrounded by people. So, ready or not, I am embracing the change and the challenge!

Now, keep in mind, it's nothing monumental . . . but it is mine . . .

Somewhere in the Avenues, on N street, is my number 2:)

Studio glory - one side is my living room, the other is the bedroom

As my Mason said recently, "the walls are too white!" I am still in the process of decorating, don't judge me:)

Now is where it gets out of control - - - I give you three views of the kitchen

2

3

There you have it folks! Cozy, nice, and, dare I say, perfect for me! (At least for the moment!)

Tomorrow I'll let you glimpse how I kicked off this great year - visiting San Fran and my favorite California family!!!