How to act as if you've never seen a Hotel before . . .

First - this is the most important . . . stay in crazy European hostels for weeks prior to booking your Hotel stay so that when you finally see the inside of the good life, you will act as follows - - -

Begin taking pictures of the outside of your hotel like it was the holy grail, the Eiffel Tower of all hotel destinations . . .

Then turn on your Vanna White charm and show off every last inch of your room, including the closet -

Run around the room exclaiming, "They got curtains! I can't believe they got curtains!!"

Try to take a picture of your cool CD player as well as a fully stocked mini bar of non-alcoholic beverages (aka The Mormon Jackpot!)

Then completely loose your mind by taking almost a million shots of your private bathroom - the sink, waste basket,

lined up soap, faucet, hanging monogrammed towel,

the other robe, the bidet - - - and the ticket to know you've made it - a phone . . .

but that's not all because in your joy you've forgotten you've already taken a picture of the sink -

so move the camera on down below the sink and find your slippers, extra towels and various kits for your convenience - shoe shine, shaving and toothbrush!

And if you haven't gotten your point across through all the stand alone bathroom pictures, have your mother pose with the phone in the luscious robe . . .

then lounge around on the bed with an actual headboard,

and gaze at the ceiling in wonder.

Finally - - - crack open your mini bar beverage and

Enjoy - - - the - - - -

VIEW!