Thursday, April 24, 2008

Pulling at my heartstrings . . .

     So . . . my new job started last week and it's been a little bit of a rough go to tell you the truth.  I haven't had any real clear directions as to what my purpose is to do with the 17.5 hours that have been given me.  I was told to work with the kids - especially the English Language Learners and those that need help in math.  I was told to get a list from some teachers and pull the kids out and help them.  There is definitely more to what the job is than that but the hard part has been finding my niche - until the last few days.  Yesterday I had an experience that to most people would be nothing but it really got me thinking and definitely pulled at my heart.  I was sitting in the commons area during the first lunch period and trying to figure out what in the world I was going to do with the time that was given me and then almost out of nowhere - in the middle of middle school lunch madness with kids running in all directions, I hear a whisper - "Can I sit next to you for a minute?".  I looked around for the owner of that whisper and I saw the top of a browned haired boy as his eyes glanced over the brick divider between my bench and another - "Sure" was my reply.  He came and sat next to me and proceeded to tell me just about everything about himself.  He was waiting for an aunt to bring him diabetic sugar testing strips because he had just had a class and needed to check his blood but forgot the strips at home.  He was 12 and just oh so cute and talkative and truly the first really nice kid to me in the week and a half that I had been there.  He told me all about how he loved to read and was especially interested in the Titanic.  He explained that his aunt had a Durango and began to explain in detail all about what they are like.  It was extremely pleasant and so fun.  His aunt finally came and we both watched out the big glass doors to see if she would come in and finally I sent him out because it seemed that she was waiting for him.  I watched my new found friend, Trevor, go out and as he took the strips I could see that his aunt was yelling at him and getting after him for what I could only assume was his forgetfulness which was the cause of her having to come all the way to the school.  Now if anyone knows me they know that I am defensive of anything and anyone that I feel is being unjustly attacked.  I felt for Trevor and became instantly angry at his aunt for getting angry at the one kind kid that had come my way.  It was such a small incident but it has been on my mind since yesterday.  I wonder how I act and treat others.  There are many times that I think that I am like Trevor - being kind and talkative and wanting a friend and there are also many times that I am like the aunt - a little angry or frustrated and I seem to take that out on the ones closest to me.  I'm not getting down on the aunt because frankly she came all the way because she loved Trevor and just was helping him but it was interesting to see a different side to things.  I'm not sure that I am making sense on the blog as compared to what is in my head:).  I guess the point that I'm trying to get across is the age old adage "There is always more than one side to every story".  I have seen that in other cases like discovering today that an 8th grader with a failing Math grade and behavior and attendance issues might just be a scared kid that doesn't know how to share that maybe her bad grade isn't due to the behavior issues but that those are really the outward expressions to maybe hide that she really doesn't understand because she doesn't even know her multiplication tables and has somehow made it to Pre Algebra with such limited knowledge.  There are so many things to consider whenever we decide to judge others on any matter and I'm grateful that this week I have relearned that lesson.  Now comes the hard part to any lesson learned, the application of said lesson - we'll see how that goes :) . . .

I have no excuse . . .

Ok - I was looking at other people's blogs and thinking to myself that I wish they would update sooner and then I realized that I'm coming in on almost a month with no updates and so I have NO room to talk:).  I'm not sure why it seems to take me so long - I honestly most of the time think that there really hasn't been anything significant happen to me and so why should I update with a random thought or two, and then it dawned on me that that's kind of the purpose of a blog. Finals will be ending for me come next Tuesday and that gives me great happiness and reason to celebrate.  Yeah!!! . . .