Saturday, February 21, 2009

Contemplating better days. . .

    Have you ever stopped and looked around at your life and found yourself wondering, "Wait, how did I get here?".  I have recently, and I have to say it's a little unsettling.  It's hard to see while amidst everyday living how a little turning off the course can lead you somewhere that you never thought possible and that you never wanted to be.  It happens, I believe, to all of us at some point or another and the longer that we wait to change our course, the harder it becomes to do so.  I have been putting off writing lately because I have felt that my life has stayed stagnant and that there really wasn't anything consequential to add to this blog world.  I have thought to myself, " I have school and work and they mostly stay the same so what is there really to say?"- in thinking that I limited the fact that anything that we feel and say, if it means something to us, is of value.
    I have always been a private person that at times finds it difficult to share with others.  I guard myself from rejection before I even give a person a chance to know me for me. I cannot tell you the times that I have held back and walked away from a person or situation wishing that I would have said what I really wanted to.  It's interesting how we are all here on the earth with different personality traits that seem to have come with us from where we were before, because I can remember this particular trait about me from some of my earliest memories.  I don't necessarily believe that this is always bad and I really don't even know why I am writing this or where this is suppose to go, other than, I guess this is me just writing an update about what I have been thinking about.
Andy Warhol once said, "They say that time changes things, but you actually have to change them yourself".  This past little while I have come to believe that wholeheartedly - they trick then becomes - do we want to?  Do we know how?


Wendy said...

We all want to, and we all know how. It's just getting us to do it that is what's tricky.

Rosie said...

The first step is often the hardest. However, in saying that it sounds like the second step should be easy---it is usually almost as hard as the first.

After my Dad died my Mom learned from a wise person that often all one can do or expect is the very next step. We can all do one step at a time, always looking to the light.

Your favorite quote is so profound.

Hold in there! Spring is on its way and the whole world will be a bit brighter!

Mom said...

Here's a thought from your favorite aunt. "Whatever you're think about is literally like planning a future event. When you're worrying, you are planning. When you are appreciating, you are planning . . .What are you planning?" So, what this means to me is that my life is what I think about, and if I'm thinking that's it's so boring, it will be, if I think that it's changing and progressing, it will be. Not always an easy concept to get, but I know it's true. I love you!

maria said...

How can Margie be "your favorite Aunt" when I am? ha ha Your comment made me think hard about the way I've been thinking lately. Thanks, Margie, for the advice, too. We all have our days like that. Today I went to the foot doctor (Evan, Aunt Bee's son) and had a meltdown thinking and talking about Norma. I was thinking about how growing old "sucks" and having a pity party, and then the thought came to me, "How can I complain about such minor things going wrong, when Norma didn't have much "right" things going on in her life, and still she worried and cared about others. I think that when we lose ourselves in the "service of others" , our troubles fade away, and we seem to be able to "move on". How's that for advice? HOpe it helps. Love you, Aunt Maria