The pressure is on folks and I think my comedic skills are rapidly coming to a close, so hopefully this will be the blaze of fiery glory that will carry me through those dark and lonely nights of witless commentary on the mundane nuances of my "so-called" life.
This little tale of the everyday starts like any other that ends up in this world of blog, with a little seemingly insignificant moment that blossoms into something grand which just begs to be told to the masses that anxiously check daily (some even hourly, some minutely) for updates from yours truly; that moment was . . . . the tragic day my macbook died. Ok, well, I guess die is a tad bit over dramatic because in reality it only started to chip from the little bars that come down and rest on the computer when it closes, and it still ran perfectly well. All the same, I was still stirred up to feeling a righteous indignation at the thought of Steve Jobs and the Apple corporation trying to stick it to me by sending me a "bad" computer that my fast fingers dialed and the "next customer service representative" was going to hear it from me! By the time I actually talked to the next CSR, all of my ranting and raving had been thought about and processed into the totally irrational reaction category and lucky for Ace(my CSR) and I, we were able to proceed into a normal and productive conversation. The result of that conversation was that I was going to have to go to the Apple store in SLC, so we made an appointment and I was all set.
The person I now know as my Muse - Susana Chard, was able to come with me and we shared a monumental first trip to a future society - The Apple store. I think of her now as not just mom but Muse, because wherever she goes, hilarious and random events are sure to go with her. We approached the worlds future society with caution as all lights were low and supposedly they weren't open yet. Just as we about reached the door to try our luck, a sophisticated looking middle aged women with a computer bag surpassed us at top speed heading right for the door with just enough time for my mom to ask, "um, do you believe they are open yet?" as she snootily replied, "I don't know but I have an A-ppointment", and rushed in - sadly, before she heard me reply that WE had an A-ppointment too! Little did we know that as we followed her in we were in for a technology filled world just beyond our grasp. As we entered, we could dimly see at the far end of the pristine room a half moon like table filled with young men in blue shirts that sat "every- other" next to more of the same middle aged women who seemed to be receiving instructions on how to run a computer(knowing what I know now they were probably recieveing instructions on how the move to their new space station home was going to go down). The farther we moved in, the farther away from a stable reality I felt, as everyone(more blue shirted employee people as well) around me seemed glued to their i-phones as their means of communication - no eye contact, no lip moving known as talking. We seemed to be out of luck since neither of us own that particular communication device, so that just left us standing next to the "Genius Bar" wondering if we would meet their Genius standards to be helped or if we would have to combine IQ's and maybe then we would be approached. We finally were approached by a man in an orange shirt that seemed to be controlling the blue shirted individuals and my cracked computer days were numbered as his getting involved moved our genius status to next in line. They offered to repair it all at no charge to me within 3-5 days and as I left my macbook in their care I couldn't help but fear what I would get back. As we left and our eyes and minds began to once again adjust to the earth world, my mom couldn't help but point out that the Apple store felt like a place where they "wash brains" (I told her it was "brainwash" and she said "wash brain, brainwash - same thing!). Haha - she came up with a few more hilarious quips about our experience and then told me she missed her calling as a comedian and said, "move over SENfeld!" - I told her it was SEINfeld and she once again said, "I know, that's what I said - SENfeld" - haha, it was great.
We then spent the rest of the morning trying cool Salt Lake City things like going to Starbucks (don't worry folks, we got a steamer-just hot milk) and Whole Foods. That is something for us country folks or as my mom calls us - "country pumpkins" even though I told her it was "country bumkins" - she just argued there was no such thing as a bumkin so the saying has to be pumpkins.
in all her glory:)
Ahh, well, if you made it this far through this monstrously long post I congratulate you and hopefully the new SENfeld and I will see you soon on her 30 city comedic tour - starting June 12th . . . . .