Dear overly tanned 40 year old man from the Roy pool,
Do you really have to splash so much? Seriously. I know that you are strong and fast and believe me, all of the rest of us swimmers know that you have lapped us in our meager attempts at the benefits of a cardiovascular workout, but do you have to overdo it? Just to let you know, you are not Michael Phelps and this isn’t the Olympics so please tone it down a little. I was doing the backstroke in my own lane just minding my own business when I was drowned by this overwhelming splash and wave that took me to the depths of the five feet section. I lived, but just barely. Even the little old ladies doing their arm raises and kicks SEVEN lanes over felt the fury that was your splash and it messed up their perfectly done hair that never ever gets wet - - - Do you know how big a splash must be to do that? You probably don’t but let me tell ya, it’s a BIG one and they are all coming from YOU! And so that we can end as friends, one last piece of advice . . . never chose a lane next to me again and be careful, all that tanning could lead to skin cancer.
The drowned rat in the lane next to you