My encounters with food and the elderly . . .

Businesses need to watch out because sometimes their marketing teams get carried away. Take today for instance. I was fixing myself a pita sandwich for lunch and the back of the bag caught my eye. There, listed for all the pita loving world to see were the wonderful things you could fill a pita with – chicken, deli meat, tuna, veggies, etc. – all the usual things that make pita eating enjoyable. Then, sandwiched in-between bacon and hamburger were some choices that seemed haphazardly thrown in just to make up space or throw off fools like me that read the back of pita bags - - - strawberries and cream and ice cream. Who in the world would think to themselves, “hey, I want some ice cream – no wait - - - I want ice cream in a pita!” Oh goodness. Maybe that’s what I can do with my English degree – write up the stuff that goes on the back of pita bags or Mac and cheese boxes. Anyone up for adding some grape jelly to that Mac and cheese? Mmmm mmmm, good! Now that’s five star fine dining classy!
Speaking of classy . . . that reminds me of an incident that took place the other night. I was walking across campus to my car from my night class and walked in front of the Browning Arts Center. It was a buzz with the energy of dressed up old people and puberty stricken middle school -ers. I thought it was an odd combination but I should have known. As I walked, I conversed with myself about the possibility of asking someone what was going on – just ask nicely – no big deal – oh never mind, it doesn’t matter – a little curiosity never hurt anyone – come on (and so forth). So I got my courage up and as another group of geriatric socialites made there way passed me I decided I was going to ask, “Excuse me sir, what is going on tonight?” (super nice right? I even added the “sir”). To which he replied, glaring down at me as if I had asked if he had been alive when Lincoln was president, “What!?!? Why the symphony, of course!!!!” Huffing angrily passed me, as if I was a non cultured bum, he continued in to enjoy the sy-MPH-ony. Hmmh, I thought, on my way back to the car, if he only knew who he was talking to. I’m as cultured as the next person. I love the arts, I’ve been to the Smithsonian, I’ve been to the symphony. Hey, I even like to listen to the classical music radio station as I drive around – it makes me feel superior to the other drivers on the road (sadly, my superiority lasts for a short while because I look around and realize I am driving a Pontiac with a leaky roof and a turn signal that never turns off – but none the less).
Now, if I ever see that man again, I can add one more thing to my list of what makes me just as classy and sophisticated as he is . . . I eat ice cream in a pita pocket!